Harmony Between Families

1 Timothy 3:4-5 (RSV) ⁴He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way; ⁵for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God’s church?

Now the above passage in the Paul’s pastoral letter to young bishop Timothy is sobering. Any pastor or other leader in the Church recognizes the poignancy of such a charge. If we reflect on the nature of the family as portrayed in the Bible, we will find few that are free from “mismanagement.” Even our Lord had problems with his family of origin. I am not referring to God the Father having a spat with God the Son, no, the Holy Trinity is the very ideal of family harmony. But consider that Jesus’ sister and mother came to kidnap him from public ministry and take him back home by force.

The first couple, when faced with their first crisis, could not form a united front. Adam says, “The woman, who Thou gavest me, gave me this fruit to eat.” The first siblings did not form a loving bond of brothers. One killed the other. The first twins fought with each other in the womb. This pattern of discord never changed to the day they died. Sarah hated Abraham’s concubine and her son. Lot’s daughters tried to seduce their father. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. Jacob’s father in law cheated him. Jacob cheated him right back. Eli’s sons were thieves and ruined his reputation as a priest of God. David’s first wife hated him; his sons hated one another and, together, hated their father.

Now there are some noble examples of familial love, to be sure, but, mostly there is discord within the family. How can the Christian household be well managed in the light of this history?

My daughter Amanda married Dan; by doing so they started a new household and merge two extended families. My daughter Cassandra married Nicholas and they started a new household and thereby merge two extended families.  I pray that the Miller/Borgelt and Miller/Almasy families will always continue to love one another. If this is to be so, it will require the very heart of Jesus living in each family member. We pray that the love of God will have its full impact on all our thoughts and actions. This is unlikely to happen perfectly. The best we can hope for is, should it breakdown God will provide a road map of reconciliation to find our way back to a healthy measure of harmony. That road map consists of the way of love and mutual understanding. Two elements are mentioned above: they are respect and submission. If these qualities are exhibited by one party much progress can be enjoyed. If they are held by all parties, then Christian harmony can be displayed. I love the phrase “mutual forbearance.” There is much wisdom in it.

I pray your lives and your relationships are indicative of mutual forbearance, which will produce the bonds of peace.

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.

Ken Keyes, Jr.

Any deep relationship to another human being requires watchfulness and nourishment; otherwise, it is taken from us. And we cannot recapture it. This is a form of having and not having that is the root of innumerable tragedies.

Paul Johannes Oskar Tillich (1886–1965)

If you expect perfection from people, your whole life is a series of disappointments, grumblings, and complaints. If, on the contrary, you pitch your expectations low, taking folks as the inefficient creatures which they are, you are frequently surprised by having them perform better than you had hoped.

Bruce Fairfield Barton (1886–1967)