Fight the Good Fight with Goodness

James 3:13-18 (NKJV)  

¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. ¹⁵ This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. ¹⁶ For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. ¹⁷ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. ¹⁸ Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. 

  

It took me many years to figure out what I was supposed to be “as a man.” As a boy, I looked to various male role models to discover what was expected of me. I admired those who were strong and smart. As a pre-teen young man I looked for men who were kind and yet could act with confidence. I admired some of my teachers, both male and female, for their character and personality. I saw that older boys were respected for their physical prowess and the ability to fight. Such persons frightened me but they also fascinated me. I saw them as strong and I wanted to be just as strong. They would stand up to others and overpower them with their abilities to intimidate. They used implied threats to get their way and insert their wills. I began to equate such power with strength of character.

 

I reasoned that I would need to engage in some form of physical aggression if I was to be “respected” as a man. So, I would get into a fist fight about once a year during my high school years. My only code of honor was not to be the aggressor. Only later did I learn that such aggression is usually invited by me simply because I presented myself as a fighter.

On that I am a grown man, even an old man, with many years of experience, and having the Holy Spirit at work in my soul I have vowed to keep the peace of Christ in my heart. Aggression now is my enemy. Gentleness is a more powerful force for good than aggression.

In the process of shunning aggression I have learned that this evil takes many forms. There is the aggression of physical posture. There is the aggression of a hard word or even the aggression of a dismissive facial expression. What is called for is a careful checking of the heart. I have also learned those women are just as prone to aggression as men.

Even some Christians have adopted the use of intimidation to push back a perceived threat or to get their way. I think it is possible to be unaware of your own use of force. It’s like bad breath, sometimes you are the last person to know.

Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance. Louis D. Brandeis (1856–1941)

Never argue with another: remember he too has a right to his own stupid opinion.

 The less sound a man’s argument, the louder he talks.

 For after all, the best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–1882)